When we were kids, we learned, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
As we grew up, we realized that was a lie. Bullying, whether physical or verbal attacks, hurts. We can all remember someone saying something cruel and it hurt our feelings. I still feel traumatized from high school 30 years later.
Writing this column, particularly on topics like race, politics and social justice, I’ve gotten my fair share of demeaning and plain mean messages because I see the world differently than some readers do.
I welcome opposing opinions, as long as they aren’t denigrating or dehumanizing a people or inciting violence or hate. I believe that while I may not like your opinion, but you have the right to speak your mind without repercussion. We won’t all agree on everything and that’s fine.
What’s not fine is trying to bully someone into changing their mind.
Diversity of thought is important in a free society but keyboard warriors, who prefer attacking instead of engaging in constructive discussion, demand I change my mind or debate them with more information — as if Google isn’t a thing — and finally, when all else fails, question my intelligence.
Some people think that if they just push hard enough, others will eventually agree with them. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll discredit or silence anyone with a different viewpoint.
For instance, at this month’s Toronto Caribbean Carnival, Mayor Olivia Chow enjoyed the festivities in full costume to the annoyance of some city residents. How could a woman of her age be dancing with her constituents and visitors to the city?
Some folks online complained that she’s not a valid representative of the city. They said she was disgraceful and made a mockery of the office … or she was simply participating in North America’s largest street festival. There are more than enough challenges in Toronto to bring up and question Mayor Chow about, rather than focusing on how she was dressed or how she danced.
Another example is U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris. Since she became the Democratic party’s presumptive presidential nominee, she’s faced constant belittling and personal attacks from Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and his followers. They are angry that Harris has a different perspective than they do and they are scared that a woman — a racialized woman — is so close to the most powerful seat in the United States.
So, what do angry people do? They lash out: Harris’s voice and laugh is annoying and grating. Is she Black or is she Black enough? How can she be Black and South Asian? She’s a “DEI candidate” — a new way to use a slur without using a slur. Questions about whether she slept her way to the top. Can she be the Nurturer-in-Chief if she doesn’t have biological children?
Again, people are too lazy to research good policy arguments. Harris has been in office with President Joe Biden for nearly four years. There are several decisions that their administration has made that can be used to question Harris’s worthiness for the top job but, no, let’s make fun of her name.
Politics, religion and race are three topics that people are going to have strong opinions about. People get passionate because these three things come down to what we believe and who we are. Living in Canada, we can meet people from different backgrounds, with different beliefs — that’s the beauty of multiculturalism.
Remember the Golden Rule we learned when we were little? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s a basic idea we’d do well to implement daily because our words can and do hurt. Like my kindergarten teacher, Ms. Woodley, said over 40 years ago, be kind and treat each other well. Maybe we all need a refresher.
